Just a warning, I haven't been real dedicated to this whole blogging deal so we'll see how this "revival" goes.

I felt led to post about this song we sang the other night in church. I've read an "anti-post" to this exact song from a friend's blog. This is in no way meant to be a point-counterpoint deal. I just really love the song. It's one of my favorites and I wanted to take a sec to tell you why.

The song is titled "At Your Feet" and the lyrics go something like this:

Jesus, be my portion
Jesus, be my king
Lover of souls I am giving you all I have
Because I know all that I need
I will find at Your feet.

I look up a lot of words. Portion:
Main Entry:
1por·tion
Pronunciation:
\ˈpȯr-shən\
Function:
noun
Etymology:
Middle English porcioun, from Anglo-French, from Latin portion-, portio; akin to Latin part-, pars part
Date:
14th century
1: an individual's part or share of something: as a: a share received by gift or inheritance b: dowry
c: enough food especially of one kind to serve one person at one meal
2: an individual's lot, fate, or fortune :
one's share of good and evil
3: an often limited part of a whole

Now I can't speak on my friend's behalf but if I understand it right, I think the issue with the song comes along with the #3 definition. It's as if the song limits Christ and his influence with life and that's just not good enough. I agree in that perspective.

The reason I like it doesn't really fall under any of the "proper" definitions. I go through my day filling my plate, if you will, with so many things that I think I need. I want Christ to be my portion. I want him to be all that I need and all that I want. I live life right now and I give him let's say 2%. I then go about my day looking at my job, my wife, my children, my friends, my boss, my church, my family and myself to fill whatever void is left. Actually myself takes up a good 90%. That leaves all those other important things about 8%. These are round numbers mind you, I didn't want to bore you with the break down. In thinking about this song, it leads me to another based on the Bible verse that says:

Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you, Hallelujah. Actually, it's Ah layay lou ah lay lou ya but you probably get the drift. I don't have to dig too deep to KNOW that this is true. That if I seek Him first, that if He is my portion, then the rest of my important list will take care of itself.

I work out hard for an hour and a half three times a week. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but usually it's 3 times a week. In reality I should be in amazing shape. I'm not. It's because I eat like a velociraptor. I don't control the amount that I eat. Portion size is a joke. Somewhere along the line I learned the joy of a "happy" plate. Why order it or put it on your plate if you're not going to eat it? Okay, I know I'm chasing a rabbit here, but that's my idea of portion. I want Jesus to be my huge-everything-on-my-plate portion. I want every bit of him and I don't want to hunger for anything else. I agree that we may never be "satisfied" and always want more of Him but that's all I want to want, Him and nothing else.

That's why I like the song.

This is the image I blogged about this morning.

It was taken by Brian D. Sanderford. It is Corporal Robert Wallace and his daughter Kelcey just before he left for a fort in AR and then on to Iraq in order to train military police.

This breaks me.

I wanted to post this morning but as I write, I guess I'm not sure what exactly about. It's not guilt. I'm not posting to fulfill my personal quota of posting.

No, I saw a picture today that really kinda shook me in my core. I wish I had this pic. It was forwarded to me in an email billed as NBC's photos of '05. Regardless of if these were actually phots of the year, one shot grabbed me. This one was of a child, maybe 2 or 3, being held by her father who is, by his uniform, in the military. His dog tags are wrapped up in both of her hands I believe and her face is crumpled in sheer sadness. Sorry I haven't posted the pic, I'm technologically challenged.

In my opinion, the photo leads you to believe that he is leaving, again maybe, and that she fully knows and understands. The pain that I see on her face is hard to understand. It's hard for me to believe that this child, this infant, fully grasps the depth of the situation. I wonder if my daughter has that capacity. I know she must. This is not a stab at how mature the feelings of a 2 year old are. To be honest, a 2 year old most likely destroys me in a battle of "genuine unguarded heat feelings". In my mind, the core of that photo is love. It's pure. It's basic, not in a demeaning way but in a natural state way. Somehow, something in her just feels it and it pours from her uncontrollably.

There's really not a point. I haven't written with agenda. this is not to make you laugh, to make you sad, or to make you think Jake is so sensitive. It's not a spiritual post comparing this father and child to our relationship with God.

It's just one of those things. There are so many other useless feelings during the day like stress, frustration, worry, apathy(if you can feel apathetic), and boredom. It's just when something like this draws love and compassion from you, it just feels right.

Jake

Suffering?

I've heard the sentiment tossed around the body of the ring lately about how everybody seems to be suffering. Let me generalize the fact that I believe geralizations are cyclical.

My friend Mr. Meriam Webster defines "generalize", ironically, as this: 1 : to form generalizations; also : to make vague or indefinite statements 2 : to spread or extend throughout the body

Several weeks ago now, a large portion of the body of the ring went on the BCM trip to Mexico. I was talking with a friend a week or so after they returned and he said to me, "Man, isn't it great, It seems like everybody is doing so well. I mean, everybody I know is doing really really well."

And now, probably only just 6 weeks later, we're all suffering. I promise you I've heard it from 10 different people. Why is that? Please don't read this as any doubt that people are suffering. I've got one friend that seems to be getting hit on all sides. Several of my closest friends in this wide world have no idea what to do in regard to a job that they no longer have.

BUT I HATE GENERALIZATIONS. okay, maybe I don't hate them enough to not try and use them when I fight with my wife but they usually backfire and so yeah, I hate generalizations. (sidenote........the pharse " You never......!" loudly followed by pretty much anything is not a good negotiating tactic during a fight, trust me.)

I know misery loves company. I guess it's just that when I've been low, I'm not thankful for that person who comes along and tries to prove that their lower. I'm thankful for those who grieve with me while encouraging, while pulling me out or pointing me to Him that pulls me out. There's a Josh Groban song in there somewhere but I digress.

I get low, trust me, but you know, not everybody is suffering. Rebecca Lusk, pregnant, doing wonderfully. Ashley Ballard, pregnant, doing wonderfully. Cullen & Ann, Jon & Blair, Krystal & Jeremy, David & Becky, all soon to be married in the next short couple of months. People with new exciting jobs, graduations, babies, calls to the mission field, calls to ministry, it's all here.

This comes from me, a man who is full of worry and fear at the moment of writing this. I face a potential problem this afternoon. Did you read that - "potential". It's not even real and I've begun to worry about it. So this morning I sought some comfort from the scripture. I am anxious so I knew exactly where I wanted to go and still I find that He teaches me things I've never known. I go to a site called godrules.net when i want to dig deeper into the language of the Bible. Here is what I found for the writings of Andrew Clarke in regard to Philipians 4:6. Clarke's context is in green, mine still in black.

Verse 6. Be careful for nothing] mhden merimnate? Be not anxiously solicitous; do not give place to carking(Annoying or burdensome) care, let what will occur; for anxiety cannot chance the state or condition of any thing from bad to good, but will infallibly injure your own souls.
By prayer and supplication] God alone can help you; he is disposed to do it, but you must ask by prayer and supplication; without this he has not promised to help you.

By prayer - solemn application to God from a sense of want.

Supplication - continuance in earnest prayer. With thanksgiving, for innumerable favours already received; and for dangers, evils, and deaths turned aside. And let your souls be found in this exercise, or in the disposition in which this exercise can be performed, at all times, on all occasions, and in all places.

That supplication commentary really hits home with me. Because, when I suffer, I hit prayer hard and I throw supplication right out the window. Just thinking about the blessings I've been given and the things I don't even know about that have been withheld, Grace and Mercy, It's so very humbling.

This may or may not encourage you today. Like I said earlier, a couple of friends, they've been hit so hard for so long, that supplication is getting harder and harder to grab hold of. I'm praying for you, I promise.

I'll let you know how today went.

Jake

To aid in distancing myself from yesterday's nightmare of a blog post, I've decided to tell you a story.

Only a couple of folks know this story, but it's not out of my embarrassment, I just haven't had a chance to talk to many people.

I play basketball with a group of guys at this healthclub that my wife and I belong to. We play religiously every Mon/Wed/Friday at lunchtime. It's a great time and a great workout. By my records, I dropped a little over 35 pounds over the last year which is about the same amount of time that I've been playing with these guys.

Well, after ball begins the shower, dress, get back to work regimen. The sheer amount of:
whiteness
wrinkles
nakedness
and body hair is pretty disturbing if you stop and think about it.

Stop, seriously, I said don't think about it.
Really! Quit, I'm not kidding.

So, Jakey hangs his towel up on the hook outside the showers with the 5 or 6 other towels that are hanging there. On this day I've chosen a nice pale green towel. I mean really pale, just a smidge above whatever word you want to use that really means off-white.
Jakey takes his shower and comes out to find that his pale green towel is gone. The horror!
As naked Jake eyes the 5 or 6 rows of benches that line the lockerroom he spots what looks like his towel. I guess in what is one of the worst aspects of the story, the towel is resting on the bench. The problem is that Lavergne is sitting on the towel and just like naked Jake, He is naked.

Now don't get me wrong. Lavergne is a really nice guy but he's a little crazy. I can't really understand what he's saying half the time. He's probably 55 or 60 and weighing in at a plush 275. No big deal unless you're 4'11". Okay, I'm being dramatic, he's probably 5'10". So he's got some girth.

I ask Lavergne if he might have picked up the wrong towel. He looks down and begins to laugh and speak. From what I gathered, he just got to talking when he got out of the shower and totally grabbed the wrong towel. I knew it was an honest mistake because back when I came out of the shower, most all of the towels hanging were white and I just figured he hadn't looked close enough. So, I tell him I'll get his towel and bring it to him if he tells me which one it was.
He tells me it's the YELLOW STRIPED ONE!!! C'mon man! out of 5 towels, the one non-white towel is not only non-white, it's a beach towel that's got freakin huge yellow stripes running through it with green pin stripe accents.

In the 5 naked steps it takes me to walk back to the towel hooks I'm playing the scenario out in my head. Do I get my towel back? Do I use his and call it even? I'm not sure. My decision is more than made up for me when I grab his towel off of the hook. His towel is wet. Wet you say?
How could that be Uncle naked Jake(which reminds me of another story for another day)? His towel is wet because, like a lot of guys out on the court, me included, he used his towel to wipe his sweaty body in between games. Let that sink in........

I graciously accepted my towel in exchange for his and completed the painstaking task of "toweling" off and getting dressed.

Some stories were never meant to be told, this was not one of them.
Thank you and good day.

Some of you who read my last post may notice it's missing. Those of you who didn't read the missing post probably won't miss it.(wrap your mind around that)

The missing post is missing because I lost it. Okay, I deleted it. That post was crap. One whiny hot-headed idiot guy's take on life that really had no chance of bearing good fruitful fruit.

You ain't got nothing nice to say then don't say it. I knew it shouldn't have been said and yet, I said it. Funny thing was that the post was me griping about feeling like people thought I was stupid. If you want to know the truth, I am stupid if not, at least, short sighted.

I want to ask forgiveness for me for shooting at a hummingbird with a shotgun but first I think I should ask forgiveness for even picking up the gun.
Man, I'm cryptic today.

I am a Softball player

Loudly and proudly I profess one of my identities. Yes softball, the soft, white, pudgy underbelly of athletic activity. To make it better(or worse) it's church softball. That means that we have to try and be nice while we play and we pray before and after each game. Regardless, I think I take it too seriously. A lot of you who know me know that I don't take much serious and if softball is one of those things, it might be funny. I've never been a real athlete. I don't know what I mean when I say that. I guess in the least, I've never been payed to play a sport. In fact, I've probably been closer to being payed not to play a sport by several teammates.

Still, I am human and I know that there is a competitive fire that burns within me. Notice, I didn't say that I'm a "guy" and that's why I'm competitive because I think that's total crap. I've seen just as tense if not worse displays of pride and competitiveness in the female world. But I digress.

What really gets me is the fact that I am a large man and I cannot hit a softball. For my size alone, I think I'm supposed to hit that ball a mile away but I can't. It's always been that way. I've matured in my hitting to where I've learned some consistency but never distance or power. My desire led me to search out online batting techniques before our first game this season. That's even funny to me. I'm sitting in my office gripping a ruler mimicing the guy on the 45 second video that I've downloaded to revolutionize my swing. I do have to tell you that I crushed a small ball of wadded up paper. From my desk, I almost hit the wall of my 10 x 10 office(and I was sitting in the middle of the room). Amazingly enough though, I hit 2 triples in my first game this year and convinced several guys on the team that I was going to kill the ball this year. WRONG. 3 games and countless(okay, it's 9) popups later, I'm again at a loss.

I played last night and hit really well but it's because I abandoned everything I learned online that day. So I'm back at the beginning. I'm now accepting batting techniques by blogger comment. Fire away.

Witness


I was reading the verse and devotional given for today in the 30 day journal and the question was "what do you think it means to be one of Christ's witnesses?" I'm a little too practical sometimes and as a result I went to Webster's dictionary (online, I may be practical, but I've very 22nd century) to look up "witness". Webster's had 6 entries for Witness. I really liked the wording for the 3rd entry. It's "One asked to be present at a transaction so as to be able to testify to its having taken place". When I think that in terms of Christ and the gospel, I'm encouraged. He asked the disciples then and he asks us now to be present with him and to testify that _______ has taken place. Insert His transactions in the blank, whether it be dark to light, death to life, old man to new man, our spirit to His Holy Spirit.

Even though being a witness comes with great responsibility, it offers a peace like no other at the same time.