I hate confrontation....
I had a real tense discussion with several friends last night about the ministry that we're all associated with in one capacity or the other. That ministry is "the aritist formerly known as" the ring. Kind of a joke there, but that phrase actually lays a pretty good foundation for our discussion last night and any discussion that would grow from this blog post.
The ring is becoming the ring community church officially on Feb 12, 2006. I'm understanding now that the ring's "becoming" is becoming a source of division for some people. The ring started as a ministry to the college students of Baton Rouge, LA. Basically it was started and has been overseen by a group of twenty-somethings for, I guess, around 8 or so years now.
The tension arose out of criticism that the ring is changing and that maybe the college crowd would not be or feel welcome for several different reasons, the main one being that it's just not a college based ministry anymore. This blog post is not meant to rail against, ridicule, or belittle those criticisms. If anything, I want help create a jumping off point for discussion. You gotta understand, I respect and love these folks who brought the criticisms to view. Our discussion got a little tense because we're all close to this situation and I think we genuinely care for each other being part of the body of Christ.
I'm one of the 20-somethings who has had the blessing and pleasure of shepherding this group over the years. Next month, I'll begin my life as a 30-something along with a wife and a kid so I guess I'm quickly becoming distanced from where we started, whether I like it or not. I don't think I'm too old to see where these friends and the views of their friends were coming from. In one sense, it does have to be shocking for a college kid to come into their ministry and begin to watch older adults with kids walk in. Then, a nursery is made, more people are getting married, potluck dinners are happenin', the ministry's writing a constitution, and they're freakin' taking an offering. So now, instead of coming to a college ministry that they love, they're now to the point of hoping this new whatever-it-is has a college ministry or they're just walking away. Tough to handle, I agree.
Like I may have described, I in my situation, am getting more excited by the day. A nursery?! Well man, that would mean that I can worship and sit in a service with my wife without wondering if Addy's gonna spit gum into Ringo's mustache when I'm not looking. Giving?! You mean I can perform the worship of giving and the host church is not gonna take it's cut before giving the rest to the ministry that I want to give to? Wow!
The thought of people leaving the ring because it's not a cool college ministry really rubbed me the wrong way. I understand, but I don't. Even though you've got older folks coming in, you've got some more structure, you've got kids and an offering plate sitting there, things haven't changed. Our style of worship is probably more young, contemporary, and free than the day we started. Our pastor has done nothing but grow in the maturity of the word that God's given him to put out there. Our community groups are alive and well. God has blessed us.
And look, I know what's percieved as the coolness factor is not the only thing. There are people who feel torn because, they already have a church. Some think that once the ring is a church that we have to draw a line in the sand on denomination, while now, those lines are faint if there at all. I guess as an overseer/elder, I'm supposed to know the answers to all of it, but I don't. Like I said, I'm not here to vent about what was brought up to me, I guess I just want someone to put it out there and for us to just be completely honest with each other about how we feel.
College ministries(at least as far as here in Baton Rouge) are cyclical(sp?). By that I mean that you can look back over the last several years and watch the movement of people from one to another. I think we've cycled so far in my experience that I'm actually seeing people come back to the ring after having left for other ministries. It's not necessarily a bad thing. Who am I to judge someone for searching. I can't make great decisions on my own much less tell someone else what they're supposed to do. It's the same with churches. I grew up in a community with, pretty much, 3 big baptist churches and I don't know many people who haven't worshiped in 2, if not all 3 of those at a time. I've done it, my parents have done it and my friends have done it. It's not for me to tell you that God's not leading you to another ministry.
I just don't want people to leave for the wrong reason and:
"everybody's going to ...." or
"All the hot girs are going to....." or
"this ministry is cooler than ...."
are all the wrong reasons.
Let's talk about this. If I'm mistaken, let me know. The last thing I want to do is insult someone. Please don't let that happen. Please, don't hesitate to be honest on this. It's what I want.
posted by Jake @ 8:46 AM
6 Comments:
Well, we've never been the type of ministry that could really be described as "cool". We may have been the "in" thing a couple of times, but people that really get to know us rarely think of us as "cool" ;)
Seriously, though, I felt what Josh said on Sunday was very encouraging for this sort of thing. It's meant to be very freeing that the Ring itself will not say to any group in Baton Rouge, "We don't exist for you." I would hope that each person would feel encouraged and supported enough to minister to whom they are called.
I feel like we're trying to move to a system that supports a "both/and" rather than an "either/or" system of ministry. RCC exists for everyone, but individually we are called to minister to those whom God has called us. If that's college students, then the Ring is there to support, equip, and encourage you to reach that group.
In the end, the people who determine if the Ring is for college students are not Josh and the elders, it's the people in the church who have a heart for college students. In all honesty, what are we changing by becoming RCC that would practically lead someone to believe that college students are near and dear to our hearts? It seems that the only thing we've done is add things, not take anything away, that I can discern.
We're just not interested in being the "cool" ministry, and that won't click with everyone, but there are more than a few ministries whose goal is to be exactly that. God is not worried about the Ring looking cool, but we do have a mandate to make disciples of all nations (people groups?). As long as we make decisions in line with that, I am ok with people feeling like RCC is not the place for them.
If we concentrate on attracting people to the Ring, we will set ourselves up for disaster. If we focus instead on creating a community of believers who are focused on the kingdom of God and proclaiming it to all who will listen, we can't go wrong.
Disclaimer: I'm not one of the ones who has come back from being a part of the Ring years ago, nor was I ever a college student coming to the Ring.
I came as a college graduate (3 years ago) to a ministry that appealed to who I am as a believer. It didn't matter if I was in college, out of college, turning really old (24), or acting really young. The Ring was, and still is, a place where I have the opportunity to meet God corporately with the community He's blessed me to be a part of. That community will hopefully continue to grow and diversify as the years go by.
I'm not saying that we as the RCC (I still like calling it the Ring) should not have a college ministry. But I wholeheartedly agree that we should have opportunities for different types of ministry. God has given each of us different spiritual gifts and as a church body we should be using them. Whether the ministry you're called to are college students, senior adults, children's church or even a sunday morning service (gasp). As long as we are serving and pointing the world to Christ individually as well as corporately, I see no reason to go elsewhere.
I just don't want us to get lost in the details when it comes to this. I want college students to feel welcome, but I'm not biased. I want everyone to feel like they are home when they walk into our church.
we discussed this tonight in our meeting (the college ministry aspect of jake's entry, not so much the confrontation itself). i agree with everything that has been said, so there is no need for me to re-frame it. i would like to add that collegiate ministry is a crucial part of our DNA, and we will not "outgrow" our love for students. after all, we are trying to move closer to the campus so that we can reach more of them. however, if our current base of college students feel neglected or forsaken, that is a problem. but we don't know unless they tell us... which is exactly what happened with jake's conversation. we have a proposal on the table that will hopefully help us right whatever wrongs have been done up to this point. btw, this is why we have the q&a blog... it answers some of the questions that were raised in this situation.
I wish all of you had been with me that night. It was and is such a sensitive delicate situation. Like I said, all of the parties involved, I believe, genuinely love and care for one another. It wasn't a fight for who was right, it was a revelation of what the feelings involved on both sides were and I felt like I couldn't have said my name if you asked me. Just one of those times when you really need to be clear on what you feel and I made it about as clear as my complexion in middle school(ewww, gross).
BTW: hot girs = hot girls. Thanks Allison
Jake
Yeah, I hope anything I said wasn't taken as "confrontational". I think if I were a college student today I would feel a bit apprehensive, but I'm looking forward to hearing the proposition on the table. I can definitely remember being so frustrated with the Chapel on the Campus, a church actually on campus but not really doing anything to support the campus. They hosted Crusade, but the church was RIGHT THERE and didn't seem to do much LSU-oriented stuff. Anyway, it's all about trust and our job as the older guys and gals is to make sure that trust is not in vain.
jake - i hate that you went into that conversation feeling unequipped to clearly articulate where this church is heading. however, i know you, and i know you are way hard on yourself and i have a sneaking suspicion that you are being entirely too hard on yourself, as evidenced by what is not said.
i'm definitly one of the older people. just to hit that perspective as well - i don't give a rip that i'm older. i'm called to love. i'm called to this ministry - and that in and of itself is a miracle. i have formed amazing relationships and grown more close to my Lord at the Ring.
sorry, guys. i know this is a volatile issue for some people - i just do not understand why. the very basics of our faith are the we are ONE BODY. if we don't shift away from demographics and back to being ONE BODY, then we stand the chance of becoming lost in translation.
life is dynamic. people's lives are dynamic. our lives are supposed to look like HIS - not HIS at a certain age or place in life.
i mean, really. i'm 32. i'm single - divorced even. no hot virgin here. i've experienced infertility, a dad who disappeared, bankruptcy, sexual abuse, walking away from the Lord and walking so close to Him i'm stepping on His feet. what does that say about me? NOTHING. i don't think there is a demographic that i fit into at all.
i'm not looking to this church to define me. i'm not looking to fit in. i am looking for the Lord. i am looking for family. i am looking for community. i am looking for a place to worship openly, without reservation.
i have found these things, and more, at the Ring/RCC. to me, they are one in the same. this is the place the Lord plopped me down into 3 years ago, and i've been off and running ever since - towards Him. Isn't that what any ministry is supposed to accomplish? Isn't that what we're supposed to do? Isn't THAT what we're supposed to look like?
this is not about us. this is about HIM. the day that changes is the day i walk out the door, because i'm looking for Him.
we are experiencing growing pains - birthing pains, if you will. we knew it was going to happen. not everyone is called to be here. there will be people who leave - and many of those people will return, 5 years from now, spouse and kids in tow.
that may sound a little harsh, but it is reality. i don't want anyone to leave for the wrong reasons - defined as anything but clear direction from the Lord - but i also know that life is dynamic, He is alive and desperately in love with us, and He is in control of all that happens.
now is an awesome time to approach Him with your doubts, fears and concerns. He will guide your steps - either to the Ring or somewhere else. you can be sure of this - He will lead you to HIM.
i love all of you, deeply.
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